I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
