She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
