Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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