So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
thus making me awesome and them whores
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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