What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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