I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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