You're a womanizer and a bitch.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Randomize
