Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
