She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
