I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
