What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
