who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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