I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
