Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize