ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
