I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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