DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize