Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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