Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize