Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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