I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
