Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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