can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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