In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
