Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
