mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
