Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize