I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
