im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
