I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize