Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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