i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
