Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I want a musical about memes.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
