Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
