Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize