its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
