omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I looked at my own cervix.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
