Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
