So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
