Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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