It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
