I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
