The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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