I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
