Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
