He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
