"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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