Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
