she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
