they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
