maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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