he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
