Sry I called you an 8
i would punch a child for taco bell
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
