just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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