I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
