His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
