Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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