When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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