i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
