Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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