Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
