You work out of a Hotel?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
