Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
