Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
