I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
