I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have aggressive nipples.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
