i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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