Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
