i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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