yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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