So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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