He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
